I am a failure

I suck!!!!!!!! Seriously, I am 100% sure I'll fail my A math. Make that 120%. I didn't have time. Obviously, I am a total fuckin' idiot! Do excuse my language for this post cos I really nidda let out my feelings. I feel so dumb. I let down every single soul, everyone. I failed miserably. I told my mum && she scolded me. I am crying now because it is not her fault. I've disappointed her too many times to count. She is most probably feeling ashamed of me because she is a mathe teacher and I am failing my A math. God, I'm so sorry. My mum should never be to blame. She did what she is supposed to do. I let her down again. Is this how I have to live? I seriously studied. I studied more for this test and I had high aims. Everything's been shattered. Everything. I feel like ending my life right now, leaving everything behind cos I've let people down more times than ever. Although I shouldn't, I feel I ought to do that even though I can't bring myself to do it. I dunno how many are gonna read this post and freak out but I dun think I can ever bring myself to do that. My life might be equal to a rubbish dump but I can't jus leave it all behing and do nothing about it. Sometimes I feel that it's because of me that my siblings have to suffer cos I'm not setting a good example. Sometimes I feel that I cause all the conflicts in my family. Sometimes I just feel that I'm not worthy to be here. Sometimes, I just want to leave it all behind. Well, thanks to those who cared about me today. Namely Jahnavi, Magdalene, Yichan, Liying, Agnes and Vincent. Perhaps you guys might think that I do not appreciate what you guys did but I really really do. Thanks a lot guys. May my life be better, God.

With loads of hugs and kisses,
vanathy